Ballpark Nuances

Earlier in the summer Felipe Torcato and I attended the tail end of a weekend interleague series between the Giants and the Mariners. It was an unusually warm weekend, adding excitement to our anticipation of experiencing Safeco Field. I don't know if you remember, but the Giants were swept in that series, scoring a total of two runs in the games we saw. Hardly a great baseball story in terms of Your (Our? My?) Giants' performance, but our visit to Safeco was hardly short of memorable events. Suprisingly many of them are comparatively small bits that make up the baseball experience.

Allow me to elaborate:

• No Water Bottles. Yes, the gate crew does not let you bring any drinks in, forcing you to shell out $5 for a bottle of Aquafina or stew and rapidly feel your buzz turn into a hangover.
• No Hard Alcohol at the Terrace Club (Club Level). Safeco is a "family place", so they don't want any crazies here. Oh wait, that guy behind us constantly screaming "JAMIE!" and sexually harassing his own wife was clearly drunk on Smirnoff and not tall boys of Bud.
• Dancing Grounds Crew. Priceless because the woman next to us asked if the Giants had a dancing grounds crew, as if it were standard across baseball. Although they do this at Yankee Stadium also.

The point is that a lot of times the small things can make up a baseball experience, even if you don't notice it at the time.

This got me thinking though. What are the small nuances at Pac Bell/SBC/AT&T Park that might strike a visitor? McCovey Cove? Nah, too murky and besides, nobody hits home runs in there anymore anyway. The Giant Coke Bottle? Maybe, but the paint is fading and after a while you see it for what it really is: another monstrosity to keep fans from having to look at Oakland.

Here's what I was able to come up with:

• Lou Seal's pelvic thrust. How does this fly in a family park? Do I just have an incredibly sick mind? This move creeps me out.
• The Car(s) in left field. It began as one oddity and multiplied soon after. Seems destined to doom a late-inning Giants rally, but it has a clean record so far.
• Kiss Cam. "Strangers in the night..." Felix Vanlandingham lives by this as a rally starter.
  
• The inflatable Dreyer's Dibs gimmick. A sleeper; this thing is revolutionary. At one game we heard a vendor talking about how they couldn't manage to sell any Dibs until they brought out the inflatable thing. Everybody hates shelling out $5 for a tiny cup of new age Bon Bons, but apparently if they make it ten times bigger and fill it with air fans can't get enough.

Warning: irresistible when inflated.

Honorable Mention: the rubber chickens and the mysterious FusionStorm ads.

In an ideal world your mind would never wander to these distractions because the product on the field would be far superior, but let's face it: when the last place Nationals are up 9-2, a good pelvic thrust and an ice cream can relieve some stress.

Until the car in left field takes away a would-be walk-off home run.