Bad Playing and Bad Behavior

The false sense of hope created by the Giants' homerun barrage on Monday has been thoroughly kicked to the curb with the last two nights' hitting displays. On Tuesday, Giant hitters were able to make Juan Cruz look like the ace peope believed him to be, and yesterday choked so egregiously that not only did Matt Morris basically call out the offense, but Moises Alou questioned his own abilities. The bright side? My-Mando didn't play a part in any of the losses!

With the Giants frustrated and walking into a possible buzzsaw this weekend, it's hard to remain positive. Let me do the work for you: at least we have never had to deal with Maurice Clarett. We all know what has happened, and it is truly sad, if not pathetic. This whole Clarett thing made my head spin, but brought up the compelling question: where are all the bad-boy Bay Area athletes? For every team there are players that get suspended for one reason or another, or cause consternation among the fan base, but are ultimately harmless. For instance, beloved (at least by me) former 49er defensive end Tim Harris not only loved to celebrate sacks by holstering imaginary pistols, but also liked to drink heavily and smoke weed. Kevin Mitchell was fat and a loudmouth, but was an MVP and never dragged the team or fans down. But there were always those unique guys who managed to blow their chances (often into a breathalizer) and be vilified either by the media, the fans, or the team, and at times all three. Let's skip the foreplay and see what we can find:

- Armando Benitez: We have given Blow-neitez plenty of grief on this site (and a lot from yours truly), and he pretty much deserves it all. Benitez's ability to mix back-breaking blown saves and completely irrational and indefensible behavior is uncanny. A true class-act.

- Julian Tavarez: What is it with the Giants and loudmouth relievers? Though never a major dissenter on the Giants, Tavarez was always abrasive and famously voiced his criticisms of the San Francisco fan base once he left. I think Ellen DeGeneres would have an aneurysm if she had to sit in on a dinner conversation between Tavarez and Ozzie Guillen.

- Chris Porter: The former Auburn star never played his senior season, but the Warriors took a flier on him. He rewared their faith with an arrest on marijuana and cocaine charges. And he still can't stay out of trouble.

- Vinny Sutherland: Not only did he suck at playing football, but he also sucked down alcohol. While driving.

- Terrell Owens (personal site): I am not even going to go into what he did to our team and fan base, or even link to it, and if you don't know the details you are not a legitimate 49ers fan. The only thing I have to say is that I bought his jersey and now I am stuck with it. I hate him.

- Lawrence Phillips: Phillips was probably the worst character acquisition in 49er history. Fortunately, we missed his series of domestic abuse charges, but he was suspended for mocking Steve Mariucci, but more importantly missed the block that ended Steve Young's career.

- The Oakland Raiders: Fortunately, we do not cover the Raiders. Otherwise Darrell Russell and Sebastian Janikowski would headline this list.

Unfortunately, we missed the glory years of Darryl Strawberry.

We never saw this side of Strawberry

As you can see, this list is not that extensive. We should feel pretty lucky that we as fans have not had to deal with many bad boy athletes. Heck, this year's Bengals put all the aforementioned to shame. If you have any suggestions, feel free to write them in.

In a completely unrelated note: A judge ruled that fantasy baseball statistics should be free to the public. This ruling may have the most widespread effect on the male population since Roe v. Wade.